Computer-draft 1
Nowadays computer has become a necessity in our daily life. We can play games and watch films by the net. In addition, we chatting and making new friends around the world as well. Furthermore looking up the information from the website is an easy way to find the solution when we meet some problems because we can get various ideas from others.
Making new friends around the world helps us to know different cultures and languages. Surely, you don’t have to pay too much telephone bills. It is also easy and efficient to manage data that let us make papers to have a good efficiency. It not only provides to us a leisure recreational activity and working quickly, but an easy way to communicate
posted by candy @ 8:34 PM
6 Comments:
"when we meet some problems "
"meet" can 代換成 "have"
both are ok
Are you finish? You don't tell us do you like computer or not.
"Nowadays computer has become a necessity in our daily life." add a "," behind the "Nowadays".
"Furthermore ......." add a "," behind the "Furthermore" is better.
"In addition, we chatting and making new friends around the world as well." change into "In addition, we can chat and make new friends around the world as well." is better.
"Furthermore looking up the information from the website is an easy way to find the solution when we meet some problems because we can get various ideas from others.
"-->分成兩句應該比較好吧
The idea of paragraph two is your personal opinion.
You can write more about computer in draft 2.
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